As a young bride, I had many expectations: to be happy, to someday buy a starter home, to have a couple of children that were both happy and healthy, and to serve and grow old at the church I loved. However, in each case what happened turned out to be different than I had expected. They turned out for the best, as I look back, however, at the time I felt betrayed by my husband at one point, betrayed by life in another and even betrayed by God the Father in another.

What I learned is that when I don’t balance my expectations with reality it set me up for disappointment and discontentment.

To change my current way of thinking I first had to compare my expectations with my reality. It was fine to want more, however, if I became dissatisfied with what I had then I became ungrateful. What I had to learn was to find contentment with what I had.

Then I had to learn to align my expectations with my reality. This was our income, our life, our children and our church. To long for more or different only made me miserable. I didn’t like being miserable. Since I only had control over me I had to align my expectations with my reality and what I could not control, I put everything in the hands of my heavenly Father through prayer.

I then began to enjoy what I had and even started to be thankful. To be thankful to the creator for His blessings allowed my reality to become my expectation.

I ask you again, how do you balance your expectations with reality? I tell you from personal experience that the process is grueling but in the end very satisfying.

Things I can do to keep my balance when it comes to expectations and reality.

• Examine what my reality is first and foremost.
• Have a few friends that you can process with to keep your expectations in check.
• Find resources that will help you. Read Read Read.
• Write down some action steps that you can take that will keep your expectations attached to your reality.
• And last but not least if you are a person of faith, ask God to give you insight as to when your expectations are out of balance.
• To compare yourself with what others have will certainly put you on the path to have your expectations out of balance with your reality.

Proverbs 31:25 “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.”