Dealing with Anger

Ephesians 4:26a says “Be angry and sin not.”

As women, we were created to connect with all of our emotions equally. One minute we can be happy playing with our children and the next we can be sad watching a movie. All emotions are a gift from God. There are not good emotions and bad emotions, there are simply emotions according to Dr. Roger Boyd. We as adults have the opportunity to learn to control our emotions. Now that is where things get tricky!

As a young woman of 12, my mother pointed out to me that there was one time a month that I had less control of my emotions and that I had better figure out how to control them. She was not ok with me telling her how I felt with the tone and language that reflected anger at whatever was bothering me at the time. That started the long journey of figuring out how to control my emotions.

So many things affect your emotional state of mind. Sleep (getting enough), people around you (at work or at home), circumstances, finances, and the list can go on and on.

There are the times when anger is appropriate, like when someone is hurting you, your children or your spouse. Anger can also come up at unsuspecting times. Like when someone cuts you off when you are driving or when someone gives you unsolicited advice. I am sure you can come up with a couple of times when anger caught you off guard. Do you even remember the reason for your last argument?

Often we want to stop being angry and don’t get to the bottom of why this is happening. I want to give you permission today to do your own problem-solving. Here are a few things to be aware of:

• Make sure you are not letting anger control you before you confront a situation.
• Acknowledge that sometimes it is ok to be angry.
• Attempt to understand what might have prompted the object of your anger to act the way you did.
• Take time to understand what triggers your anger in the given situation.
• Look for a life lesson from God when evaluating your anger.

Here are some action steps:

• Seek God’s wisdom when faced with a situation that has prompted your anger.
• List things that anger you the most.
• Pray for wisdom to avoid inappropriate anger.
• Attempt reconciliation for an unresolved situation in which you responded with anger.
• Read a book or two or an article on dealing with anger.
• Ask a friend to pray and hold you accountable to your desire to seek understanding instead of retaliation.
• Make a list of situations where your anger may be appropriate.

James 1:19 says “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.”